Only recently when I think she was dumped by OM did she look for support..'you dont care about me' was what I heard. I sensed a lot of insecurity in that, perhaps some regret.
... be prepared for her to do that again, and again and again until you tell her you 'dont care about her anymore' after all, she broke that tie when she D'd you.
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I think they are fully back together and are committed to each other now. Only when she gets dumped by him can she fully grieve the end of our marriage, which I dont think she ever did. She started an A, ended our M, and has been in fantasy land ever since.
You weren't married to my W by any chance were you? The problem with people who do this, IMO, is that if the OM dumps her she will just find OM2, then OM3. The reason being is they simply can't cope with dealing with the pain that us LBS's have to deal with. They get over by getting somebody else and falling in love all over again. Those love drugs are waaaaay more powerful that the years they spent in the marriage. It's much easier to take a fix than deal with the reality of what you've actually done to yourself, your kids, your spouse and your wider family OR (in my W's case) to who she's actually become.
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I'm not sure I'm hoping to revive my marriage. In fact I dont really think there is hope at all.
While you are both still alive, there is hope. It all depends on how much effort you want to put into making it work.
I read time and time again (not on here, elsewhere) that the R's started working again and fixed themselves when the people just gave up on them.
I would have no more contact with your XW for your sake. She knows where you are.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
