YOUR boundaries that YOU choose to set aren't about hostility or "playing hard ball". Without healthy boundaries a new kind of R cannot even begin to develop or flourish.
Boundaries do not drive wedges between people. In fact, it's quite the opposite... healthy boundaries bring people closer together.
Do you understand why healthy boundaries are crucial in all aspects of life? Do you understand HOW to set a healthy boundary in a kind and firm way?
You ramble on about how your W has had 3+ OM's. Unless you create some sort of healthy boundary for YOU regarding that, well, all you are doing is validating her OM's while still giving her a soft spot to land when SHE feels like it.
