I'm doing pretty darn great under the circumstances! Trying to analyze a little less and get logical.
The kids' stuff is the hardest. Believe me, I am absorbing the bulk of my kids' pain and hostility. I can only think of "that which doesn't kill you...." but sometimes it gets me down.
Most important is to do what works to stay afloat and emotionally balanced. I'm finally recognizing what works for me...it's a start.
I too, am absorbing the bulk of my childrens pain and hostility, and it get's me down too.
Ok you two this is bunk. AAK, you talk about differentiation but you absorb your kids pain and hostility????? Your kids aren't you. You can love, empathise, console, encourage, and counsel them. But you can't absorb someones else's pain. Their pain is their pain, your pain is your pain. Recognise the situation, be aware of the dynamics and understand your role.
What you are teaching your kids is that they are responsible for your feelings. If I hurt then Mom hurts. I need to cheer up so Mom cheers up. You are being watched by your kids.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Your kids aren't you. You can love, empathise, console, encourage, and counsel them. But you can't absorb someones else's pain. Their pain is their pain, your pain is your pain. Recognise the situation, be aware of the dynamics and understand your role. 