So, my thought now is that I need to sit back, watch and wait. It's ironic, because months ago, he said emphatically that if we stayed apart we would lose feeling for one another, and I disagreed. In the meantime, I have closed my heart to him somewhat, and his feeling for me has grown. Ironic.
They don't say absence makes the heart grow fonder for nothing. As my IC told me, people who split tend to only remember the good times and forget about the bad times. It's just human nature.
Quote:
At the same time, if I don't give it a second chance, will I always wonder "what if?"
My takes on this, and it's only mine, is that everybody deserves a second chance. I don't mean in M, I just mean in life. We all screw up, some of us more than others, and we all make mistakes. We should get a second chance to prove that we have learned from that mistake.
I know you don't believe his changes and I can easily understand why. But people can and do change. Some people can dramatically change overnight, some people take weeks, months and years and some people can't do it at all.
I think what you have said about basically waiting it out is a good idea. Let him prove to you that he has changed. But if you do at least give him the time and space to PROVE to you that he changed you also need to give him the compassion and understanding for when he lapses / screws up. And he will. But if he get's back on the horse and makes ground again then at least you know his lapses are temporary and he is committed to himself. If he stays off the horse then you can at least say you tried and you know the answer to your 'what if' question.
He needs to fix himself before he can fix the M. You need to decide if you will let him.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
