Hi BlueRain...i have followed your sitch for quite awhile. You sound like a great person. Im sorry your H flipped out. I need to look into some fleece sheets.
I'm fully D'd and my W has shown little or no signs of coming back. Our D was messy, complicated by her poor attorney asking for the moon. I ended up ok I guess in it all, cost me a lot to defend myself. Only recently when I think she was dumped by OM did she look for support..'you dont care about me' was what I heard. I sensed a lot of insecurity in that, perhaps some regret. I think they are fully back together and are committed to each other now. Only when she gets dumped by him can she fully grieve the end of our marriage, which I dont think she ever did. She started an A, ended our M, and has been in fantasy land ever since. They have risked everything for each other so I think they will put much more effort into their relationship than they did in their marriages. If they lose each other, they can add that loss to loss of their reputations, friends, families, etc.
I'm not sure I'm hoping to revive my marriage. In fact I dont really think there is hope at all. I guess as someone posted above, I wouldnt be here if I didnt want to. But, I think what I'm doing here is just interacting with everyone with similar problems, learning how to deal with them. I love my W and miss her greatly. Im amazed I can write that after how much intentional pain she has caused me and our families. I think it would be nearly impossible for me to trust her, forgive her, and to let go in the back of my mind what happened, all the lies and betrayal.
I really dont think I'm ready for a 'relationship', but it would certainly be a boost to my ego if some chick found me interesting enough for a big 'hug'. Its been a long time.
