P17 Believe me, the silence is wonderful, it really, really is. That whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing is so true. I think of her a lot less and feel like I'm enjoying life a lot better. As for meltdowns, believe me, those things do happen. Mine happened almost a month ago. This was after she told me that she wanted a divorce and likely was going to start dating the OM, despite him being married. I enacted NC from that day forward It was a compilation of the end of the A, work stress, and the realization that I was moving. She came over three times that night. The first time I asked her to leave and she did. The second time same thing. The third time she refused to leave. There was arguing, there was pleading, there was an attempt at logic by my part. Even offered to get her a hotel room if she would leave. She asked to follow me to my new location, offered to quit her job and take a new job, any job to be with me. There was even a moment when she got so mad at me for trying to kick her out that she slapped me. Fortunately I did not respond cause I'd probably seriously harm her. Plus I felt sorry for her cause it just seemed like she was having a complete meltdown. However, there was still some lack of taking responsibility on her part, and therefore I didn't take it seriously. She ended up staying for about 2 hours, then leaving. Then she called just before sunrise asking to come back again. I let her return and sleep on the couch again. I woke up a few hours later to see a blanket and pillow on the floor next to my bed. Like I said, do not fear what might happen with the NC. A person having an A behaves similarly to a drug addict. You can't reason with a drug addict. All of your options have failed, and will fail because she's still in the brainwashed/addict mode. So it stands to reason that if making contact with her doesn't work, and she doesn't make you feel good, then you need to find other ways to do so. That means you take care of you and the rest will just happen. Now you have to be strong and fight the urges to contact her. I felt one earlier today and am doing so right now. That's where your friends come through. You will be fine. After a few days, things will start getting easier.
