I have never heard of the Divine Mercy Chaplet before. How does it fair in comparison to the rosary?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
(not sure if this is allowed here, but excerpt from Wikipedia):
"The chaplet is often said as a rosary-based prayer with the same set of rosary beads used for reciting the Holy Rosary or the Chaplet of Holy Wounds. However, the chaplet may also be said without beads, usually by counting prayers on the fingertips.
According to Sister Faustina's visions, written in her diary, the chaplet's prayers for mercy are threefold: to obtain mercy, to trust in Christ's mercy, and to show mercy to others
Jesus also promised that anything can be obtained with this prayer if it is compatible with His will."
I'm just hoping this helps you be more at peace.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
So I haven't quite decided yet whether or not I am going to take a date to the margarita ball. A friend of mine thinks I should and let my W see it. The date is 10 times hotter than my W. Not that my W isn't hot, she is. But this lady is even hotter. My friend seems to think it might put a bit of a jealous streak in my W if I do that. My friend says that if someone else finds value in me, my W might again to.
Who knows. It may be worth it just to see.
Reminds me of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. You have had the power this whole time and refuse to see it. Your friend is RIGHT. I would stop messing with all this nonsense of "working on yourself". There is NOTHING wrong with you NOW. Once you find someone else that trips your trigger all of this nonsense of working on yourself will take a back seat.
The thing you will find out is that it will be worth it for YOU to see. You are punishing yourself. Going out with a woman that is TEN TIMES HOTTER than your wife is a no brainer. It will show YOU that there is nothing wrong with you NOW and that you have value. It will show value to YOURSELF. Doesn't matter what it show to your wife, even though it very well could show her that.
It would also show your wife that you ARE able to make decisions.
Go for it. You have had the power all along Dorothy. Find someone else to take up your thoughts. Find someone that WANTS to be with you. It will show you that what you think are problems are really just nothing more than wanting what you can't have. Find somone that you CAN have.
I am having trouble understanding what your W has to do with YOU going to the ball or not. Do YOU want to go? If so, then go.
If you want to bring a date then do so. What is the big problem here? Pretend your W isn't even going... would YOU want to go?
As for the conversation - what happened there IMO was you finally started to back off and your W didn't like it so you actually apologized for backing off and she reeled you back in to the dynamic SHE wants. Do you think that was a good thing?
You apologized to her for backing off (what she wanted), only talking about kids/money (what she wanted), getting your own life and not making her the center of it (what she wanted) so *she* would feel more comfortable? What do you think about that? And what will you do when the next IM pops up and you begin to chatter and she says "if this isn't about kids/money" then I can't talk" (like she usually does)?
I'm confused Kevin. Don't they say on rejoice ministries NOT to date to make someone jealous that it will only backfire. IMO it could go both ways but if you are in this with God and saving your M I don't think I would take a date. It's not what they teach you on that site. It's totally up to you.
I would stop messing with all this nonsense of "working on yourself". There is NOTHING wrong with you NOW.
I don't usually post on this thread but Gucci, as much as I do believe their is a "method to your madness," you are telling an admitted alcoholic and clearly unstable guy (Kevin, with all due respect a lot of us fit that bill here) that there is nothing wrong with him. It is sweet and romantic but obviously the one thing Kevin needs more than anything is to be able to be alone and deal with his compulsions and learn to focus his attention where he wants it. Dating, getting some attention is great, but if all the focus shifts on to a new hottie, he's doomed to end up right back here in a matter of time. Nothing shows me that he's prepared to handle a R with a new woman and maintain perspective.
That's my opinion. You give very aggressive advice which is often spot on but it would be cool if you were mindful of the fact that you don't know each individual and his/her capacities.
What I think is that by me backing off and setting boundaries, it was driving a wedge further between us. She was actually becoming more hostile and I wasn't creating a comfort zone to draw her back into. If a relationship is going to have a starting point, it can't be to further drive it apart.
One thing that has not felt comfortable is me trying to play hardball with W as that is not my natural personality. As a result, I don't do it very well and it backfires more than helps.
As far as the margarita ball goes, I have no real interest in going. It would only be a tactic to draw interest from W and raise her curiousity.
Goodfight,
Yes, Rejoice Ministries says to not date and that it could backfire on you and that is a concern of mine. God would not lead me into dating someone else. I also wouldn't be doing it to start a R with someone else.
A&K,
Insight appreciated. No offense taken.
It's raining here. Traffic was a nightmare this morning.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
YOUR boundaries that YOU choose to set aren't about hostility or "playing hard ball". Without healthy boundaries a new kind of R cannot even begin to develop or flourish.
Boundaries do not drive wedges between people. In fact, it's quite the opposite... healthy boundaries bring people closer together.
Do you understand why healthy boundaries are crucial in all aspects of life? Do you understand HOW to set a healthy boundary in a kind and firm way?
You ramble on about how your W has had 3+ OM's. Unless you create some sort of healthy boundary for YOU regarding that, well, all you are doing is validating her OM's while still giving her a soft spot to land when SHE feels like it.
And, according to what your W has said most of what she dislikes about you is your neediness, your inability to make decisions and act like a strong man.
So, do you think being her soft spot to land when it suits her and being nothing to you when it suits her (and she is with OM) is showing her that you *are* strong and you can make decisions?
