I have just stepped back for a couple of days to put as much energy as possible into my job search (and a couple of friends have been cheering me up). I feel pleased to have taken these practical steps, even though it will take a while to see the pay off. I have organised three networking meetings with companies I am interested in working for.
H went back to work for a couple of weeks, I spent the first week dark not talking to him during his nightly phone call at all. At the end of the first week, he called me during the day for the first in time in about 6 months, just cos he has feeling down and to see how I was doing. He wanted to tell me he didn't want to hurt me any more. I told him what I had found out about my entitlements he would need to give me for separation (more than he realised), he recieved it well and we will continue to try to talk it through.
I asked him where he was planning on staying next break and he said straight home from work to you for most of the break, if that is ok. I did not talk to him when he talked to the toddlers the next night, he sent me a series of light texts about tv doco toddlers were watching, first such texts to me in about 6 months also. He did this last time he bombed me, swung back my way for a while, seems to let the pressure out or something. Its weird how the cycles keep getting more extreme in both directions, thank goodness I expect this so do not overreact.
I reviewed the OW info with a third party who pointed out it is not conclusive, so I remain alert in that area right now.
I am holding up pretty well as I am channeling all my negative energy into moving my life forward.
Thanks to those who have been providing support to me, it has really helped.
