And oh yeah, I'm VERY familiar with how marriage counselors and therapists work, obviously, and yes, the majority are marriage neutral. I knew I was screwed when the MC my W and I were seeing last year got divorced while we were going to her. I noticed the name on her business card changed, and when I noted that to my W, she said "Oh, she got divorced." I said "That's terrible!" and my W replied "Why, they're both a lot happier now." At that moment I knew I was fighting a losing battle.
I'm even shocked at my W's colleague, who's also a marriage and family therapist, and very conservative and religious. At first she seemed to support my committment to keep my family together, but as soon as she heard all the exciting stories from my W about her A, she forgot about me and what our kids were going through and jumped right on board supporting my W and being there for her. She was having serious problems in her own M, and I think she started living vicariously through my W.
That brings up another interesting tidbit though. About a month ago when my W and I had one of our talks, it started by me asking about a married couple who were friends of ours, now mostly hers. My W said she needed to have an intervention with the wife, and I asked why. She said the wife, who had also become enamoured with my W's tales of romantic paradise, told her she was thinking of having an A. Now you can imagine what I'm thinking sitting there listening to this. I started getting damn angry, but my wife looked sad, and said she told her "Is that what you want? Do you want to get divorced? Do you want to only see your kids half the time? You sit your husband down, and it doesn't matter how hard it is, you make him listen and understand what you need." What a bizarre experience that was for me, but I felt closer to my W after that. I think it was her strange way of showing me regret.
