'' I had an awakening this morning"

[Deep]

Hi, hope you don't mind me popping in with some random thoughts.

I think you made some mistakes there. It's Ok, it happens and you're human. Get over it. It's past - think about what to do now.

Just about everything your W said is script. Unfortunately, you followed her script. It'll be a good lesson to remember for the future and a pitfall you'll avoid better. And trust me, you'll have the opportunity to re-visit similar situations again. It ain't over by some distance.

You moved back in - your choice, your right.

Can you afford it? Your choice, your decision, you will deal with it.

She wants to file? Her choice, her decision. Affects you (materially), but not your choice.

Disrupt D17 in her final year? Oops, not your choice, a consequence of choices W could make.

W does not want to be civil? Her choice. And you can stand your ground about your preference to be civil.

For much of 2nd para in your post - Stop being a martyr.

3 words to describe your W: Fog. Script. Entitlement.

This "identity crisis" thingy often involves OP.

Surely you did not go in and do this thinking it'll be a cakewalk? W's comfort zone is shattered, she reacts and you run and withdraw.

I re-state: Stop buying into her script. What do you want? Stand that ground.

Edit: oh and as Puppy says, you don't owe anyone here anything, there's no question of disappointment. Don't let yourself down.