I had a talk with W last night. She had asked me to come over to talk, but when I got there she couldnt talk to me. She said she thought she could do this but she couldnt. But I already knew. So I asked her. Are you pregnant? She said yes.
So my W is pregnant. From the same guy who is the biological father of D1. He is back in jail by the way. This really hurts. More than anything I have ever felt.
But the thing is I still love her. Part of me says just run, get out, and never see them again. But another part doesnt want to do that. I still love her and I still love those two girls. I guess this is where for better or worse really comes in.
I want to be there and I think I can handle this, but she doesnt want me. She said that she could never be with me again. Not because of me, but because of her. She said she cant even bring herself to look at me. I had told her last week, when she said that she has done alot of stupid things since the S, I told her there was nothing she could do to make me stop loving her. I told her this again last night--she just shook her head no, and cried.
I want to be there for them, and I think I can handle this, but not without her, and her support. I need her, with me on this, I just dont know if she wants me.
I asked her what she wanted to do. And she said I dont know. I asked her I she loved me. And she said yes. I asked her if she loved OM. And she said yes. I asked her what she wanted. And she said just for everybody to leave me alone. I asked her if she wanted me to leave her alone. And she said yes. I said forever. And she said yes.
Do you think she feel so guilty she is trying to hurt me enough to make me leave. Because I know she doesnt love OM.
Any help would is greatly needed.
I dont know what to do. I know what I want to do. I want to be with my wife. I just dont know if we can get through this.
