Man, do you REALLY believe that YOU can keep her in this mess? Cause that is flawed, if you can keep her her there then that means you can pull her out of it and that is undiluted BS.
You can control you, and you alone. Now I will agree that a person can influence someone else. Example: If I told you to F-off and die you miserable piece of poo. Chances are that I influenced you a bit toward a bad day. But I did not control you into having one.
Women might rarely change their minds. However you are here for that slim chance...at the moment, your reasons might and hopefully will change as to why you are here. If you want to base your decision upon odds then give up now, but your betting on an inside straight. It might be a suckers bet, but it still happens.
You're right you need to step up for the kids...because they NEED you too. Regardless of if she does or does not.
About boundaries...yes KISS the boundaries, but simple doesn't mean weak either, simple means easy to understand without any room for misunderstanding.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
No, but you had said I can do things that would keep her there longer and continue to push her away and that is not at all want i want to do.
I want to be strong for all of us, not just me, don't want her to feel the way she does about herself or me and a chance at a new relationship.
If she was rational, if she was rational we wouldn't be in this mess.
This is not a WAS, this is total MLC.
Too many irrational actions towards me and it happened too soon after the death of her grandfather.
Now she may have been in Denial before that, but that was definately the final trigger, 2 wks after his death she changed.
Unfortunately and can't do anything about it, she went to a family counselor that gave her homework on the positives of our marriage, which "fortunately we have more good than bad."
But the awkwardness then anger progressed to quickly and she was probably told things that she chose not to do and now she is not seeking help from anyone.
So the only chance I have is. God,you guys and Me.
You all are making me a better person and I feel if I can lead by example she'll take another look.
I don't want retribution, I don't want an apology, my end goal is to be a better husband and father, for no one else, but myself.
Take the kids to dentist and Ayk has an epiphany and Bubbles walks in the showroom...unbelievable.
Suggested GAL for the night....Go rent "Roadhouse" and when Dalton is talking about the rules of bouncing really listen to the conversation. Then apply it! At the minimum you get to watch a good flick.
Don't worry about time.....it is meaningless in this situation. Just work on yourself...and the more time you get...the better investment in yourself you can make.
