Well, its been a few days since I lasted posted. Needed some time off plus I had to travel for work. Needless to say, the past two days have been rough. Coach, I know "I can Handle it!"
Yesterday I reached the end of the rope and decided to stop trying to change her mind and agree to move forward with D. Don't worry, I will not grease the skids for her, but the overwhelming toll it is taking on me and my boys is just too much. Better to let her go in search of the greener pastures then to keep my children or me in limbo.
Not sure how I feel today. It was a long trip across country so that doesnt help. But, I feel as though telling her it was over was the right thing to do. I started taking control this past weekend, and have now moved it into second gear. I feel sorry for my children who will have to endure this because of the sitch my WAS has put us in. But over time, I hope they realize that their father was strong, honest and courageous and is doing the right thing by letting go of her.
I have conversations to a minimum now, only about boys and misc issues. Any other discussion can be through L.
I can honstly say, after reading much and being on this board that I didnt make the best DBer, so for those reading, DO BETTER THAN ME. In the end, her mind was made up long, long ago. I am confident that God will provide the right direction for me and that the right person is out there for me.
This is not the end of my posts, but may be for this specific thread. Now, more than ever, its time to put the past where it belongs - in the past and work on my future as a more confident and independent person.
Now begins a brand new journey which I am sure will prove to be fullfilling.
ME 41, Her 41 M 18.5 years T 19.5 years s - 12, 10 Bomb 7/12/09 Inhouse Seperation 7/13/09 - 10/1/09 She moved out 10/1/09 - present
