Cutters story

[Gnosis]

Hi Cutter. I've followed your sitch but never commented before. You sound like you are doing well, good for you!

On a side note. I also decided that I have survived the worst year of my life. So I am buying a new pair of speakers.

And why are you stopping there? Go all the way, get yourself a complete makeover from top to bottom.

1) Get yourself a new hairstyle. go to a hairdresser and get her opinion. If it's thinning... shave it all off... like Vin Diesel.

2) Complete new wardrobe: jeans, pants, shirts and (dare a say it?) a couple of Gucci loafers.

3) New aftershave and cologne.

4) New sunglasses and other accessories.

With what you've gone through I'm pretty sure the "WAW Diet" has resulted in weight loss and your clothes don't fit you that good anymore.

Just a tip: Don't go extreme. New tats or piercings are a no-no for now.

Remember:
- If you look cool, you feel cool.
- If you feel cool you ARE cool.
- If you're cool, you're attractive.
Walk with your head held high and watch the ladies start paying attention.

You are doing this for YOU (and no one else) because you're worth it.

[Gnosis]

One more thing... if this friend is female, hold off a little on the complete makeover.

As we all know, women love shopping! Another thing that they have ingrained in them from childhood is playing "Barbie and Ken." Use this to your advantage. And slip this into your conversation during your date: "Say F, I've decided I need a complete makeover. I'm going shopping on Saturday for a new me. I'd really appreciate if you could come with me and share your opinion." Girls love this stuff. I swear!

Advantages:
1) You have a fun filled day with a friend
2) You get a woman's opinion on what makes you look hot.
3) You get a boost in self-esteem.

Oh... and later... IF your WAW mentions anything. e.g. "I see you got a new shirt." (sniffing snootily...) You have a wonderful opportunity to drop a hint. "Oh yes, "I" like it. You should see all the stuff my friend helped me pick out for myself." .... if she says, "Who?" ... Answer: "Oh, no one you know." and keep it evasive. She doesn't deserve to know what's going on in your life.

[pearlharbr]

^^^Love it!

So true about (most) women liking to shop and help men spruce up their wardrobe. One of the things I was most pissed about was that I took BF's wardrobe from blah to fantastic and now he was out and about looking good for OW. Blech. He's on his own shopping now but I have taught him well.

[chatterbug]

Just remember that I have no contact in place and I am as dark as I can be.

But I like your idea on the shopping for clothes. Its a great idea for a fun day.

I have a few female friends who I would love to get their advice on some new cloths.

[Gnosis]

You're a black hole? COOL!

Now is the time to manipulate her spies... i.e. MIL, SIL, mutual friends. Make yourself seen. Let the word get out that Cutter is one helluva cool dood and chicks dig him. If ya know wad I mean...

NOTHING tees off a WAS than word getting back to her that "her" man is getting attention and living like there's no tomorrow.

[undrdg]

hey cutter. Good for you. IM glad you are healing well.

When do you plan on going light>?

[chatterbug]

Well I am back from my night out. 4 hours of conversation. And I got paid the nicest compliment I have heard in quite a while. "I'm interesting and a pleasure to talk to"

So for those who do not want to have a date. This is what you miss out on. Great food, leftovers so no lunch to make tomorrow. And an interesting evening of conversation.




undrdg. Go into the light. I never left it. As for conversation with WAS. I do not talk to those who have no respect for me as a person.

I think PDT said it here.

Live your life and see what comes along.

[chatterbug]

So tonight I had a very interesting conversation with a very good friend.

I opened up to his wife on all what happened. Back when it was all happening. We are good friends and I really needed to talk. Well tonight he told me he thought that I was going to start something with his wife. All I could think was F*(K as I was just reaching out and needed help. But I could see how he felt that. So I thought what was the difference. And I told him what I believe.
Boundaries. Thats the difference. I really hope he belived me. But man it was hard to explain what they were. I really hope I did not ruin a friendship between us. Time will tell. But what an eye opener.

[pearlharbr]

Yes, please do be careful about opening up to other women right now. I know you only have good intentions but you can see how easily that may be misconstrued or lead to an unexpected EA.

A while back a friend came to me to discuss issues he was having in his marriage because he knew what I had been/was going through with BF. After the initial conversation I told him I was available to talk whenever he needed. He thanked me for the offer but said it was probably best if he didn't because he might fall into an EA with me. That hadn't even occurred to me but he was right, so we agreed no more talking about our respective relationships.

[chatterbug]

I hear you pearl. I backed off completely. This was back in September. In October when I went dark I put the rule in place that I need to stop talking about my relationship with people. It was very selfish of me. I also explained to my friend last night that I could not stand to lose my friends. They are such good and close friends. I am glad he said this to me. It was a real eye opener.