Quote: How do I convince my W that my lack of desire was not due to lack of attraction or love. I dont know if I should even call it lack of desire because I desired her very much. Has anyone else been through this? Maby a female perspective.
This is something which happened in my R. H and I have been talking about this recently. For about 4 years I was adamant H did not fancy me anymore, Yes we had sexual encounters, however, not as much or like we used to. I fellt H didn't fancy me, when he had his A well I thought that pretty much confirmed it. Last Sunday we talked and both agreed that things were happenening in our R, I would do something, which in turn made H do something, resentment built up. I can only see this now looking back, at the time I did not see it at all. There were times when H would cuddle up to me and I would think, hey you F**ck right off, because I was in a strop about something that happened probably 3 days ago!! he had no idea, and so the momentum would continue. H told me last Sunday, sometimes it was like cuddling an Ironing board...OUCH.. That hurt!! However we have only got to this stage through PATIENCE!!! So for now, dont talk about it. H and I, I am happy to say, have been having a great sex life recently, wich I think has built up from a freindship, it just happened, and its great.
So, IMHO, forget any issues like that for now, just be therer for your W, like you would of done in the early days. Have fun together, laugh together, spend time together, it will happen. Then when you are comfertable together again, maybe if you both need to you can talk about the past. PATIENCE is definatly what you need, dont push this and dont expect too much.
Quote: Anyway right now she is taking all the blame for our M and the problems we have had during our S. I havnt really talked to her in length about it because I dont know if she is ready. Just last week I didnt know if I would ever see her again. I dont care what she has done. And I really dont want to backslide
When she takes the blame, try and take yours and ease her guilt. I always say to H, I know im sorry that happpend to, we were BOTH to blame.
