I may be next

[TrentC]

Hey,

The interesting thing about this is she keeps saying she wants to do it without lawyers. It will cut into her bottom line.

Tough. It's her choice to leave, it's your choice how to protect your interests in the divorce. She can always go without legal representation if she wants to save money...

She just won't listen and is now calling me controlling for not going (or talking) when she says.

Well, how are you laying it out to her? It's very simple; if she wants to talk about it, either go with the "we'll sit down with our lawyers to discuss it" or "I'll think about it and get back to you later" approaches.

If pressed, say "We have a lot to deal with right now in setting up the new house, and I want to give those issues the time and attention they deserve. So we'll talk about it later." And walk away.