My W says she wants to be my best friend and be apart of my life regardless of what happens. Thats what I am going to do. Just see her as my friend.
So do you want a best friend who has put you through the most emotionally devastating occurance of your life? One who has torn your life and your feelings up?
Being an acquaintance, probably. Being a friend, possibly. Being your best friend is asking too much, IMO.
Agreed. I think the focus right now should be on detaching. Be polite to her, but work on accepting the worst case scenario and being ok (not great, but ok) with it b/c you know you will be fine (and you will). This isn't giving up, BTW. And detaching is NOT giving her the cold shoulder.
Part of what you will eventually work on is popping the bubbles of her fanatasy - "We will be BFF's no matter what." You may get to a civil and friend-ly working relationship (which is necessary for the kids), but not BFF's.
