I will concur with what everyone here is saying to you -- but you did say something in your other post that I think is equally important to address:
Quote: Me and my fiance have quality sex we both have an orgasm, usually two. But he still complains. I see people here who make dates for sex or have sex once every 3 months or don't have orgasms at all. What the @#)$*$ is his problem. He led me to believe we are were sexually disfunctional because we aren't having sex for 3 hours straight, 5 times a week, but MOST COUPLES AREN'T!
I think if your H continues in the vein, he is going to continue to sap your desire for sex. Him telling you or implying that you are somehow 'not normal' in the amount of sex you have or want is a spirit killer for the LD spouse.
For you, it seems that no matter what you do or how often you do it, it's never enough. At some point, you are just going to give up and stop trying. At some point, you won't care what statistic he spouts off at you, and you'll care even less if his penis dries up and falls off from lack of use.
You need to sit your H down and tell him that pulling out the statistics and comparing yourselves to what other couples do or don't do is an argument not even worth having. It has no place in your relationship. It doesn't matter what other couples do or don't do, and how often. What matters is what the two of you create together.
You need to tell him how it hurts you to be compared to others, and that when he says these things to you, you feel like you always fall short, that even if he's not intending for it to come out that way, you feel inadequate and unable to satisfy his needs. It's important that he hears this from you, and it is equally important that you know he has heard you.
If you are going to be willing to work on this issue with him, then he needs to meet you half way by being encouraging and appreciative of your efforts.
This is about respect and communication. Respect for yourself, you respecting his needs, and HIS respect for you and your needs. But in order for this to occur, you must have an open and honest dialogue with him. He needs to be far more aware of what is coming out of his mouth and how what he says hurts you far more than he realizes... because right now he is being his own worst enemy and he probably doesn't even know it.
You also spouted off an interesting statistic saying that sex should be about 10% of the marriage. That is true. Sex is about 10% of the marriage, IF everyone's needs are being met. If one or both people's needs are NOT being met, then sex issues become 90% of the marriage.
Respect his needs as valid and worthy of your attention. But he must also respect you, the way he talks to you, and the way he approaches this issue. If the two of you can at least get to this point, I'd say you have a better than average chance of finding a successful solution.
