In shock...

[brownidmom]

PiGA,

Try this out for a laugh...

So, he just called me here at work. He said "hey, I just wanted to call and see how you are doing. It has been a while since I asked. I kinda feel like I abandoned you and wanted to check on you."

Well, duh? You did abandon me, H. It cracked me up when I read it.

For Heaven's sake, don't beat yourself up over this, really. You did fine...and you have him guessing to boot. He could be looking for you to let him off the hook. DON'T!

bim

[praying_in_GA]

Yea, that kinda made me want to reach through the phone and smack him!! He DID abandon me/us!! He left!! We used to talk about everything, true best friends so not talking to him about my day or my life is very different.

And I still want to smack him.

[brownidmom]

Yea, that kinda made me want to reach through the phone and smack him!! He DID abandon me/us!! He left!! We used to talk about everything, true best friends so not talking to him about my day or my life is very different.

And I still want to smack him.

lol We all want to smack them at one time or another!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Actually not bad for your experience. "Trying to decide" is very good. You let him know you have choices in this.

Cheers

Took the words right outta my mouth, Coach!

Puppy

[motherof3]

PIGA,

I thought you handle the phone call really well. Great Job.

[praying_in_GA]

Well, I called to talk to the kids. He answered and said "Hey! What's up?" I said "I wanted to talk to the kids." He handed the phone over and the whole time I was talking to the kids he was talking through them to me!!! "Hey, tell Mommy there is left over dinner....Hey, tell mommy your brother broke....hey, tell mommy so and so called...."

I just wanted to say "shut up!!!!! I am talking to my daughter!!"

[Puppy Dog Tails]

LOL!!!

[praying_in_GA]

Ok, I need to send H an e-mail or something. He stays here at the house when I work so he can watch the kids. I mentioned to him last week that he is feeding them nothing but fast food the nights I am at work. So, last night he came home and cooked them dinner. Well, he left all of the dishes from cooking and eating in the sink for me to take care of. This is so not going to work for me. I work 12 hours at night and come home to take care of two children until 1pm. Then I sleep for 2 hours and get up to take care of the kids until bed time.

It is time to set boundaries. I need to tell him to do the damn dishes when he makes a mess like this, I need him to call before a certain time at night to tell them good night, and I need him to put them to bed earlier. They were up until after 11pm last night.

I am tired and angry right now so I don't want to send it off yet because it will come across bitchy. I spent yesterday morning cleaning the house, dishes, clothes, vacuuming, counters, and table. Now there is crap everywhere and I am not happy!! He still pays the bills here that he paid when he lived here. Does that give him the right to leave the place a mess three nights a week?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

No, it doesn't. Compose a simple, matter-of-fact e-mail when you are more in the mood to be able to do that, and lay the boundary.

"I would appreciate it if you would" is always a good way to start. And end it with a "thank you." To end with a "thank you" is not only courteous, it also serves as a sort of exclamation point on the end, as if it's NOT open for discussion, LOL -- which of course it isn't!

Puppy

[praying_in_GA]

"H,
I would appreciate it if you would load the dish washer on the nights you make dinner. Also, a couple of weeks ago we discussed getting the kids to bed earlier. It would help me out if you could call them to tell them good night earlier, say around 9:45 so we can stick to a schedule. Thank you.

PiGA"