was expecting that advice, but didn't want to offer it.
And I didn't want to make that boundary to her until I was sure looking in the mirror that I had never verbally set a boundary with her.
I also let her set her boundary first.
Several Sundays ago, she said I could ask something, she would respond with y,n or nomfbus.
well I asked and she hasn't responded.
i read the lighthouse everyday, just want her to look into the light.
my hope with her going thru this is all the bad is lost forever and we're able to start a new open, honest, free to be individuals marriage.
and i have listened to her. found out when all this started she needed me to take kids more than all of us running together,she wanted to have a break from everyone after work every now and then, well she took care of the all of us running together part, but i definately have gotten more involved with the running the kids around.
i did offer to take D to doc and set appt this morning, that's what started the text from wife this morning in first place.
NOW THIS IS NOT MY HOUSE, I hate everything about the place... She stole my house.
A big part of me, wants to say don't call it my house it's not my house. You're stealing my house and when this is over we both may end up with new houses.
or the GAL part wants to say:Great
The other part of me doesn't want her to see me sweat when I know she's getting her dig in but ignoring how I feel about it is not true to myself.
The kids and I call it the "adventure spot" and this is more than once she has referred to it as my house.
You know Kid, for someone who is not copedendant, you really ask for alot of direction and input.
Simply put, you don't need to respond to everything she texts you.
If you don't want to sound like a victim then I'd REALLY steer clear of the "Don't call it my house, you stole my house" one. That one reeks of victimhood.
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 11/19/0907:16 PM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Any selfish move on my part to her is only going to keep her there.
The only boundaries I think should set up, was one how she can communicate to me.
The other being the money.
When it comes to the D part, I think she should have to do most of the work, you know provide all the doc's, assets, etc, with not much help from me.
Now on that I'm down the road thinking, but reading other posts Women very rarely change their mind so I need to step up for kids and I and hope she follows, also reading other threads the people that put up, just simple boundaries had a better success than those that didn't.
