it was a bolt of lightening one day that I realised that my WAH and I shared a common theme - that we had both spent the past two years (!!) acting in his best interests.
JCJ, I saw this over on BBJ's thread about 'rocking the boat'. I TOTALLY "get" what you're saying. That is *exactly* how I feel.
I have been trying to compose a less curt version of the "I'm done" email, but it keeps turning into a venting session. I could sit on my hands and wait, but I have waited for two years. Auditioned, if you will, for the role of wife. Ridiculous. After all this time, it should be HIM trying to prove to ME that he can be a man of integrity.
It would probably be to my benefit to just have us file a separation agreement so I can continue to get medical coverage, but at this point, I want to move forward with my life. *He* might be able to say that we're not married despite the piece of paper, but I can't. And if I ever hope to meet a real man of integrity that respects the institution of marriage, then I need to be divorced or at least well on that road where I am just waiting for the calendar to catch up with the filing. I never thought I would say this, but now I am glad it's just a 90 day waiting period.
Recently, I did a blood test thing where I had to use a special thing to nick my finger. All I had to do was push down on it and it had a spring loaded thing that would just quickly nick my finger. Easy peasy. Except it took me like 10 minutes to do it! This is how I feel about pushing 'send'. I know it's the "right" thing to do, but I chicken out.
<cluck><cluck>
BBJ- if you happen to read this--I know you believe in God and marriage-- how did you wrap your head around the idea of actually moving forward?
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
