My D11 constantly picks at D7 and I hate having to get onto D11 so much. But I have no choice because she just won't stop. Then of course the natural thoughts pop into my head that this wouldn't be AS difficult if me and W were not separated. I know there would still be issues. But being separated just makes it harder on them and on me. And from what I can tell on W to. I seem to get more phone calls from her griping about D11 than anything and wanting to make sure I am onboard with her about how to handle D11.
It angers me sometimes at W and I just want to blurt out and say, your problem, you created it, you wanted this, you deal with it. But I don't. I just get onboard with her as I have to do what is best to help D11 and D7 no matter how frusturated I am at W.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I am in complete agreement about single parenting being a challenge. That was perhaps the number one reason I tried to save my marriage.
My S9 is sensitive and my strong willed D7 knows how to push his buttons simply by ignoring his questions to her which drives him nuts. I just keep telling the boy to ignore her and detach.
I just keep telling the boy to ignore her and detach.
Preparing him for his possible future are we? Probably not a bad idea. It is a good life skill.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I just have to remember what my role is. Be the best dad I can be for my girls and stop letting W frusturate me. I can't do anything about it anyways.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Kevin, I don't get why you are even considering filing for a D, when you claimed you are standing for your M. If you are standing and believe in what you are fighting for why would you file? You claim you love W and girls then you have to stand. Not pursue, fight, or any of that with W but detach.
I can't seem to detach either, but you were the one that told me about rejoice ministries and now you are considering filing. If W wants D let her file. And still stand. There are so many people out there that get divorce and remarried or reconcile after years. Please help me understand what is making you change your mind.
Great frusturation really got to me. I started feeling like nothing was ever going to change no matter how much I prayed. I saw no signs of anything getting better with my W, but instead her just continuing to move on with other guys.
Once your W moves onto a second or third guy after the first A, you start to wonder if it really is over and you have just been kidding yourself. It can really test your faith. It has been a hard road and I just haven't even seen a breakthrough of any kind. Not even a small one. So it was just great frusturation feeling emotionally exhausted.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
It looks like I have my girls this week which is my week and Monday through Wednesday of next week. My dad will be in town and said he will watch them so they don't have to go to the rec center of my W's moms house. W apparently will be to busy at work to be able to take them until thanksgiving day. At which point, I guess me and my dad will just cook up some food for ourselves that day and watch football since W appears to be backing out of coming over for dinner now. She isn't comfortable with my dad since my dad basically laid it on the line for her about what she is really doing and to quit kidding herself. She didn't like that.
Of course all the years my dad showed her complete and total love and help and support, now she writes him off because he called her situation what it really was. He also told her he still loves her and hopes she will come back one day. Then he referred to her as his Daughter and always will be.
Oh, she also blames my dad for not stepping in when I wasn't being who I should have been as a H and father. He agrees that he should have stepped in more. But my dad is not really into confrontation.
So anyways, I see how next week is starting to shape up now.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Well, my priest says I should hold off and wait for now. He says that when I get confirmed catholic that my graces will be stronger. He also made many other arguements against it that were valid arguements.
So I guess I am not going to file.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
