Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[sandi2]

And I don't know if I'd ever be able to completely forgive her for the A...it would always be in the back of my mind.

Don't try to get together then, until you know without any doubts you have forgiven her. It will rise to be the offender behind every wrong look, word, or deed in the MR after she comes back.....if you try to reconcile without being healed from unforgiveness.

I'm not sure I'd want to bust the divorce even if I could. For me to even consider reconciliation, it would take a HUGE committment and a lot of convincing on her part.

I understand what you are saying, but let me add this, okay? If you were to try to reconcile with this attitude, I don't think it will work b/c even though you have every reason to feel like you do, it takes work on both sides of the fense in order to make a go of it. If you sit back on your heels waiting and watching to see if she measures up to what you expect from her b/c of her WW, then the M won't make it. You may not understand what I am saying, but it really does take both of you doing some very unpleasant and/or humbling actions.

As far as you feeling that it will take you a long time to start over and have another family.........shoot, you are still young! You have plenty of years left to enjoy. Besides, I'd bet you wouldn't make it five years before you'd be M and have another baby!