...But here's where I ran into a problem that I need some help with... noticed that some brand new bottles of household cleaners and toilet cleaner and the carrying caddy for these cleaners were all missing. I just bought these cleaners last night. Then I noticed that the duster is missing. Then I went and checked on the vacuum cleaner, sure enough it is gone too... I'm starting to fume. My best guess is that H took said cleaning paraphernalia to OW's to help her clean? or to maybe surprise her by him cleaning her place? Whatever the case is - I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!! I did not go and buy cleaning supplies so that he could take them and do whatever he is doing with them, along with my household cleaning utensils. I don't want to blow up at him about this. So, what should I do? How should I handle this?
It is perfectly normal to be angry. The key is to channel that anger effectively. Anger is your signal to take action. The action is calmly setting a boundary (that you can enforce) with natural consequences to HIM. You can be creative. The consequences can be delayed. You have lots of options. The key is doing something effective.
I believe the other two gave good advice.
Another option,
Change the locks. When H can't get in, explain to him that household items are missing and you didn't know who had taken them and wanted to protect the rest of the household.
If he admits to taking them out, set a boundary that you will not tolerate family items being removed from the house with out your prior knowledge. WHEN he agrees to TELL YOU ABOUT EVERY FAMILY ITEM HE TAKES, you will give him a key. IF YOU DO THIS VIA EMAIL, YOU HAVE A WRITTEN AGREEMENT WITH HIM.
So the real solution is most likely in the middle of these.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
