When I have my kids with me, I like to limit their sugar intake. I don't see anything wrong with her making that request. You know exactly what she meant. She didn't say it was the worst thing, as bad as divorce, she said "I wish you wouldn't do it with candy..." It is a request. You both (Antlers and K4D) are really convoluting the issue IMO. You really can't co-parent if you go to the "but you are ruining their lives by divorcing..." place.
