Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

To me, NC is the only option you have.

As you know that's the way I feel to. I do wish there was another option though.

Believe me, you cannot reason with someone while in the middle of an A, they are not rational people at that point.

I often see people saying their spouse was 'replaced by an alien' - that is exactly what has happened to W. I have never EVER seen somebody as cold, uncaring and as happy when their spouse tells them their MIL is dying. It still shocks me.

NC is an enormous risk, and you are taking a leap of faith that things may get better. The only evidence to support it is how much better you felt when you were without her for a few days.

That's it exactly. I don't know whether it will work, whether it will destroy me, whether she will come back, whether it will push her further away or whether I will actually be able to move on with it. But the evidence that I have, over that 10 day period, is all I have to go on.

If we look at it from the point of view of W coming back then all I can say is what I have done up until now hasn't worked. She is also about as far away from me she can get. So what the h*ll have I actually got to lose by my sanity!

I had a small meltdown from getting daily texts from my W about our family home, I called my mother for reassurance.

I read your thread. I think you did well. You got the anger out. You didn't hurt anybody. Your burnt a picture and it gave you a release.

In my case, I did not send a NC letter, I just did it. The most recent time she came over and tried to start a conversation, I cordially shut it down and expressed my desire for her to head back home. She got the message and does to this day.

That is what I am doing from today. Ignoring her calls and texts. I will worry about the NC letter later. I have blocked her calls on my phone and I'm looking at getting software to forward on the texts to my IM.

I do not know how she feels, and I wonder about it a lot, but people are similar. If I miss her, and I do, I'm sure she does as well.

Seeing her last night, I don't think she will miss me at all!

Tell only those people who are mature and rational enough to accept your decision, whether it be to end or reconcile the marriage. Otherwise, if you're fortunate enough to reconcile, outsiders will become an obstacle. I have that problem with my evil ass mother in law right now. Sorry.

I have the same problem. I believe her mother is behind a lot of this as she never really liked me anyway. She also wanted her daughter to go back to where she is in April when we had a problem and also now.

Do whatever you have to do to avoid looking in the direction of that house. I generally avert my eyes so I don't know whether she's home, and that has worked well. But realize that such situations make things 30x harder.
Hang in there.

I have contemplated moving but I moved her to be with my D so why should I! It is obviously easier for her to move when Daddy bought her the house and I have to unfortunately pay my own way in life.

I have been string for weeks now and not driven down her street or looked down it to see their cars when I drive along the top of it. I am now going to not even drive along there now. I did have a lapse earlier this week but I'm not going to worry about that. I'm only human.

I will get there. I feel a little better already knowing that I've made the decision. Next big test is Monday when she is due to be here. D and I are actually going to be out when she arrives.