I was in a rut and I'm starting to see my way out of it. What I do know for sure is I've got to avoid spending large chunks of time by myself, I need to get back into exercising regularly and keep having an active social life.
The break-up w/G really shook me as I was getting comfortable and I was attached. However, in hind-sight (which is always perfect), I can see how I lost myself in the process.
I still adore her and would love to be w/her, but I have to stop chasing women and have them chase me. My chasing them is a clear sign of being needy. Thus, I've got to work on myself and cleaning my house so I do have more to give that is positive.
Never suggest what your former spouse should do with the child support. That's insulting and intrusive
I have no control what she does w/the money, but once she is married, I am going to talk w/her about D's college funds and will see if she wants to direct some or all of the monthly support funds to that cause. XW is super concerned about college savings, so I'm going to offer it. If she says no, we'll look at other alternatives for college funding.
I am in counseling again and I'm looking forward to finding my true self that I allowed to get lost. I'm going weekly and will be in again on Wednesday. That is good for me b/c while I do know what I need to do to improve myself, I'm still reeling from G's withdraw. I need to get back on track and improvements can only start w/myself.
I do know I'm prone to be depressed and I've discovered that being alone in my apartment only makes me bluer. Thus, I've not only got to get out, but I need to exercise regularly again too. I'm really, really down and the only one that can get me up is me, so I've got to trust the guy I know and listen to the voice in my head and just get after it.
I'm bummed too that D can't be the water girl b/c of XW's insistence on making everything about me and not about her D. However, I will never talk w/D about her mother's decision, but I think in time D will come to discuss it w/her M herself.
She loves being around the program and at practice this Saturday, she set up water for each girl and coach when we had our break. She was really happy to do it and I can only hope that in time my X will see the value of this experience for our D.
As for the side of beef, I do need to get back into a routine and a side of beef might be the best medicine for me right now.
I realized today in my Introduction to Psychology class that I mentioned how Freud suggests that girls will marry men that remind them of their fathers and boys will marry women that remind them of their mother...and I married my X who is messed up emotionally, just like....wait for it.... MY MOTHER!
My AP Spanish scores were pretty mediocre last year--50% passed with a 3 or above, but I was disappointed. We're on a block schedule which reduces the net instructional time by 25% from a traditional schedule. Multiply that out over 4 years of instruction and...you get the picture.
I've been concentrating more on the farm lately anyway. We had our first harvest this year. It wasn't much but enough to pay the cost of the harvest and then some.
Sorry, about the wrong subject, Nut! I know how frustrating it can be when you work your tail off and the kids don't produce.
To me, I feel that if the kid ends up bombing the test (I see no reason for anyone to get a 1), that really offends me as I feel as if they used me to better their GPA and transcript then basically told me "screw you" and didn't take the test seriously.
I've had those kids in the past and I now do all I can to weed them out well before the test comes in May.
