I really caution you to watch the anger. It feels good, and it is a relief to be angry rather than feeling stepped on, but although you would never believe it, it CAN turn abusive. Especially if she is combative and abusive already.
If you think your sitch is bad now, just imagine how it would be if one night you were really angry, she got combative and hit you, you pushed back...
...and the next week she had a restraining order removing you from your house and keeping you away from her and the boys.
It can happen. Don't let it.
You can't keep anger inside. You can't suppress it.
The only way to deal with it is to feel it AND THEN replace it with compassion. There are ways to do this (look up HEALS).
You have to get to the point where you can feel compassion for your w, and still keep your distance and your boundaries in place to protect yourself. You have to understand 2 countering points:
1) what your w is doing is wrong and hurtful to you. You have to keep your boundaries in order to protect yourself from this. This is your responsibility, not hers.
2) Your w is not doing this to hurt you. She is doing this because she is in pain and she does not know what else to do. She does not think she has a choice.
You can feel compassion for the pain she is in, while still not condoning the actions or letting yourself get hurt by them.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
