Dear LFA, Great to hear from you too! How are you doing? Any changes in your sitch? It sounded like things were in hands of L's last time you posted..and all through them. How are you doing yourself? You've sounded so much stronger too. We all have are dark days, I know, but overall I think we are learning much better to cope and to be more self-sufficient and find happiness within ourselves, and (try) to let go of the outcomes. All the stuff I've read on detaching is just great.
To you and others - this is a question I've been pondering. Say I initiate myself..slowly getting to that place. If I were to do what COACH suggests above (and I truly see the strength in such an approach, when ready) and H were to say "OK, I agree, let's D" - then do you think that outcome would have happened anyway?
I read so many stories - and on this site - of the LBS taking the control back and moving on, and ONLY THEN does the WAS seems to then question things really ending. Once you move on, they are not so sure anymore. However, you can't do this as a tact to get them back, as of course they may not come back and agree w you to end things. If that's the case, would it have ended anyway?
This I wonder. Just want to know what I'm getting myself into. I know there are no certainties, but if he's 100% sure he's done w me - and no action or inaction will change that - than yes, I would rather move on w my life. And if he doesn't want to make it work given this final approach, am I better off without him?
I guess if I go down this path and he complies, I'd somehow feel better knowing that's what would have happened anyway, rather than feeling that I forced it or something. I am hard on myself sometimes and did blame myself for a long time for him walking out. I don't want to blame myself again once it ends for good after I take bull by horns, but truth be told that very well may have happened anyway.
I know I have a lot going for me regardless, and if H doesn't want to give this a chance (no indication he does), than I guess that's not my problem. I don't want to be w someone who walks out when the going gets rough...and how he's handled this separation certainly shows he can't doesn't want to deal, period.
G'night all..sorry for the analytical rambling. -hhh
