That is all I think about, how my actions will affect the kids! My father was an alcoholic who was not physically abusive but was emotionally and my mother was too afraid to leave him and go out on her own. I remember as a kid vowing when I got married I wouldn't be like my mom and look at me now! I know deep in my heart that things will be ok if a D happens. I didn't get married until I was 31 and had been very independent. I am going to do something I haven't done in years and go to church this Sunday. I was not raised to go but did go with friends occasionally. Thinking now is a good time to check it out! Appreciate the advice! Keep it coming!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Well, back here (journaling mostly) after what started off rocky and became nice weekend. H menitond us going camping one last time this year before the weather gets bad so I got things ready to go and he was out cutting wood and said he'd be home by 12:30-1:00. Well, 1:00 came and went so, while listening to my new theme song "You'll Never Find" by Lou Rawls, I took a drive so I wasn't home when he got here. He did try to call me at 1:30 on my cell but I didn't answer as it was from his cell so I figured he wasn't home yet. Drove around and cried and then came home as I knew the kids would be out of school by then. He asked where I was and acted mad that I wasn't there. That night, when we all went to bed, he just grabbed me and hugged me like there was no tomorrow, all night long. I didn't ask any questions. Wondering if he was thinking, "I missed her this week" or "this is the last time we will camp together?" Had to work the next day so he was with kids most of the time by himself. Saturday, we didn't have the hugging but slept close. Sunday, he decided we should pack up early and come home. Fine with me as I am GAL and had plans to go to a movie with a new friend that afternoon (I had not menitoned that to him yet). When we got home, he told me that he has been having some pains in his chest off and on and that he wasn't going to tell me but decided he would. Not sure why he wasn't going to tell me (although I do tend to panic!). He is to make an appt TODAY and go in and get checked out! His family has a history of heart trouble. Got dinner all ready and announced I was leaving to go to a movie with this friend and he seemed surprised but pleasant about it. She is a lady who is one of my clients (I cut hair) and she goes to the church that I am thinking of attending and we were talking about this movie we both wanted to see and how it wouldn't be anything our husbands would like and she suggested we go together and I can't help but think that maybe God is playing a part in this!!! Kinda gives me shivers! Anyway, plan to go this Sunday and thank Him!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
H had to have a stint put in. One of his arteries was 90% blocked! Simple procedure. Has him home for a couple of days and have to admit that we had a nice day yesterday. We actually all sat down at the table and ate dinner together for the first time in a long while. I keep hoping that this heart thing will be a wake up call for him! I did go to church yesterday as promised and H did seem surprised at that! The minister was a fill in one from the hospital where H was at. He had actually come into H's room and we prayed and then I see him at church...again...goose bumps! I don't think that was coincidental!
I had bought tickets ahwile back to go see a Blue's performance and H felt up to going so we did go and he actually suggested that I scoot over and sit in the middle of the truck seat on the way there and we had a nice night! He was not able to drink since he had just gotten out of the hospital so that was not an alcohol induced suggestion. On the other side, he had his dang phone on him the whole time he was in the hospital all I could think of was him calling OW when I was gone. I am still torn as I read DB on whether I am to keep being patient and GAL or if I am ready to confront and set boundaries! I know that I will have to be prepared that H will choose to leave if I do that and just not sure I am ready for that! If anyone has anything to add to this I would be grateful! I have confided in a co-worker. She has had "exerience" in that she was having an A on her H with a man who was seperated from his W. She is in the process of D. She keeps telling me that she thinks there is hope, from things I have told her but that I should talk to him about dumping the OW.
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I was hoping to find a reply but have been reading other posts and getting some good advice! I had so enjoyed the weekend as H was recovering. Sunday we had a nice day and actually sat down as a family at the dinner table. Monday, felt like it was back to square one...H had to go get FMLA papers from job to take to Drs and it took WAY longer than I would have thought. I couldn't help myself and asked him about that and he got defensive which is telling me that he was feeling guilty about "something" so assume he saw OW. I sure wish I could just turn off my emotions. This up and down crap is for the birds! I'd sure appreciate any input!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
