Thanks Stuck for letting me know about the anniversary thing. That did seem very insensitive of your W, but it is a sign of how withdrawn she seems to be from her family and the events/ties that she has with the past.
It sounds as if your 6 yr. old has watched the Parent Trap a few times! She must be a very smart little girl. She obviously loves her parents very much and this is so painful for her.
I am very concerned about your W. I have thought of a couple of things that would be affecting her this way.....and have shared that with you. But it sounds as if she is putting up higher walls around her where her children are concerned. Is she cutting herself off from all her family & old friends? If she is not in an A or seems to have her eye on some OM.....then she must be very depressed to shut herself off like this. I could understand her reacting to you ....her children. Not a good sign.
If I had been in your W's place and my little girl wanted me to watch a "special" video and I saw what it was.......my first thoughts would be that daddy put her up to it. Even if your W didn't think that.....just the fact that she is in the frame of mind that she's in would make her leave the room. She's still that WAW and as heartless as it is.....she is going to be too lost in her own fog to be able to be the mother she needs to be. Some day when/if she finally comes to herself and truly realizes the pain she's caused.....that will be a very dark time for her.
I am still having to deal with my own regrets after all this time. Stuck.....I was so fogged out that it was if my mind would not allow myself to really look at my H and face what I had done to the person who loved me the most. I am so sorry about your sweet family. I am sorry for you and the children.....and I am sorry for your W. I had hoped so hard that she would wake up, but now I'm afraid she's too far gone. If she pulls out of this, then she'll realize she has nobody to blame but herself and when she has to deal with her loss.....it will be tragic.
But....you...my friend...are doing what I think you need to do. I know it was a hard decision and that you may feel a bit of confusion at what to do or about what you feel...or don't feel. Just take it slow and I believe God will make a way for you. I believe that--b/c you have honored God...and He keep great notes.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
