He says the trust issue has to do with our fiances I guess and the fact that I was WAS not now was controlling. He said I am not someone he could ever talk to of course only when he is drunk I know more about him than his family does..he said the only time he can talk to me is when he is drunk. I do not understand why he is holding a grudge against me. He said once someone breaks his trust that is the end..he will never trust them again. I am sure it has to do with the finances and moving in with my parents..my mom thinks that is bs because we never would have made it through school if we had not done that. But he will NEVER forgive me for that. I know him..once he has his mind made up that is IT! This is a HUGE cross to bear for me..holding the reponsibilty of keeping the house clean, paying the bills, doing taxes...the oNLY thing he does for our family...the ONLY thing is works at a temp agency with NO benefits, takes out the trash and every now and then mows the grass...three nights a week he "watches" our kids..does not feed them or bathe them...the other two nights my mom has them while he works. My mom and dad and family have given and given and given to him..he is not appreciatve..he just blames..me for his whole life! He hates me and is disgusted by me..he has said it SO many times. I guess I should have been consistent with the bills instead of shopped my bad feelings away! Which he gladly tells me I did..which in part I did. I know what I did wrong..but one thing I did right..supported him every step of the way, believed in him, I NEVER cheated or looked at ANYONE else, and I never LEFT HIM...NEVER..I think to myself sometimes..what has he done for me...really?? besides two children what has he done for me? He does not support me in anything I do. OH I am SO FIRED up right now:) I really am a good person..I try to help people in every way I can..In a way I was protecting him so we could have the kind of family I had growing up..but he is never going to be able to give me that because my dad was a good honest man who worked his tail off so we could go to catholic schools and college and live in a nice neighborhood..I want the same for my children..they have a nice middle class neighborhood and catholic schools but we dont take vacations or get to do half the stuff I got to do...My h is 35 years old and works for a temp agency and he fails to communicate with me about anything..and THAT is not my fault..I have changed and it has been 3 months but he does not care..it is too late..the damage has been done..again my cross to bear!
