Dear H, Good to hear from you! This is such a hard question, and of course you know only you can decide if and when you're ready to move across the country & start a new life. I totally get what you're saying about being ready to call H's bluff. It's scary but you want closure. Who can blame you after so long? I remember my C pushing me to make decisions about M only 2 mos. after the bomb! I was in so much pain & confusion it took a few mos. before I ditched her. So now I am a real advocate for us LBS to do things in our own time. No matter how long that takes. I guess what I'm saying is, you will decide when you're ready. It sounds like limboland has become tortuous after a whole year, and who can blame you? But you still don't want a D. I think if you did you would do what Coach suggests. But it's OK. When you're ready you're ready. You are very strong & so is your commitment to M. That is to be admired in our throwaway disposable world, where seems like the whole world (except here) expects you to D at the drop of a hat. (on my soapbox again, sorry!)
Here is a quote I copied a while back from Gypsy that I liked:
"Learn to define boundaries. Have you therapist help you. Counseling and medication work for you. You want to be in a good place to make good decisions.
Parameters I use are: If it feels right, the answer is yes. If it feels wrong, the answer is no. If you can't make a decisions or keep waffling, the answer is no."
You are doing great and sound so strong. I don't know if any of this is helpful but please know you are have my total support. Keeping you in my thoughts. (((((H))))) LFA
