I think that he will lie to himself so much about how he "feels" that there is no way to separate the truth from his fiction. You H, especially, in my opinion, has been living in a fantasyland for years, I truly think his real emotions are so totally buried that they would scare the he!! out of him if he had to face them.
Anyway, my biggest point is, it really, really, really, doesn't matter! Don't let your perceptions of his feelings affect how you and your kids live! None of you deserve that!