Hey Stuck, I'm sure we can relate but my sitch is quite different. H left 11 months ago but has never really left me alone. I was more like your wife before H left (though I was clear I wanted to make our M work).
Therapy today was a trip. He was really honest. My therapist was great. Basically, she called him out (gently but directly on his cake eating)...I'm going to go in to see her again and really try to hone in on what I want. He's struggling with what he wants and seems to understand that he's in a fantasy world. I'm the only woman he can really trust (despite his involvement with other women). Interesting stuff. I was pretty clear that I feel devalued and that he doesn't see me and my experience as of equal importance to his...I don't know if that can ever change, just listening to him go on and on about his desires and confusion, other women, critical importance on this planet etc. was turning me off but, he was there and owned up to a lot.
We'll see. He asked for a referral for a male therapist for when he gets back (he's got a long stretch of being gone, leaving tonight). I'm glad he wants to work on himself. In the meantime, we need to figure out what our boundaries are and how we can create some security for our kids (I guess that's pretty much on me since he'll be gone).
On the money front, he has gone to great lengths to ensure that he is earning enough to cover our overhead, risked losing a huge opportunity by insisting on a guarantee of hefty compensation.
So, things are moving along.
I really wish MWD would write more or dedicate a book to how the heck we are supposed to deal with the kids when in "limbo"...they must be the first concern.
