Actually, I don't have legal counsel yet - but I have my reasons why.
All she can see right now, is that for the next year she can have her space and freedom and know that she still has access to our house and to her kids. She's eating a great big cake. It means my kids are as great as they could be, so I am kinda ok with it. But in January, her rose colored glasses will start to slip.
My last post for the evening, just about to take off.
Maybe you just enjoy us giving you 2x4's and possibly that's an indication of a bigger problem, you don't listen or having problem listening.
She can have her space & freedom, but once she moves out, why would you allow her access to the house?
Is it because of the kids?
I'm assuming she'll have a space for them there, didn't you mention providing kids with the keys?
Is she providing you with the keys to her new place?
Do you get any of what we mention about setting boundaries with regards to respectful behavior?
Once she leaves, regardless of title on the property of not, she is moved out. You're not running a hotel, you are entitled to privacy as well and not assuming that right to privacy just leaves you open to other boundaries that she can push past and take advantage of.
Once she leaves, you should change the locks.
I wouldn't allow her free pass to come & go as she wants - what would that teach her? That you enjoy the status quo of living in limbo?
You will no doubt make another excuse as to why you can't do that and I will just shake my head and consider that maybe you just like to post on here and that you're really not looking for possible solutions to your problems.
Once she moves out, you are encouraged to reclaim your individuality which includes your living space.
Flip it around, she will enjoy her living space, individuality & privacy, you won't be coming & going as you please to her place (or will you?) - if you can't show the same thing at your end, what is left of you to promote interest, curiousity, mystery, etc. etc. etc.
Still sounding like the same ol' indy, regardless of the name change. Time to wake up a bit.
This is all counter-intuitive and that's the beauty of it, whenever you think of doing something, stop, take a minute and think of the opposite: - call her frequently > stop calling her - email/text her > stop emailing>texting - gift buying/card buying > no more gift or card buying - favors > no more favors - being available for her whenever she needs you > making yourself scarce ie. GAL: getting a life - give her the open book on your life so that she knows exactly everything you do at every moment and allow her to come & go as she pleases > be mysterious and tell her to "please respect my living space as my own now and call before you come and I will let you know if it's ok if you come over on that specific day"
