You're right Pearl, I know, the fear factor does creep in from time to time. Honestly, when I post I know it may seem like I am waiting, waiting, etc...but truly I have gotten so much better w GAL and living my own life and am busy that I do not at all think of him as much as I used to. Work is also very busy through year end - am in sales - so part of me also wants and needs to focus on that, and just keep my self healthy and emotionally strong (i guess hence part of my wanting to wait too). But you are right he has shown no indication and for all intensive purposes he's not my H right now, and may never be again in the future. He may also have his own fears too for not acting..not wanting to feel guilty, see me hurting, who knows. I know I need to take care of myself.
CG - everything is separate for us financial-wise and no financial benefit to staying married (although yes I am bitter having supported him and he's going to make big bucks in a few years...but i'd rather this be amicable and have him not take any of my savings and start w a clean slate then get into some nasty battle). separate insurance, no kids, no joint property...it would/should be pretty clean if it ends.
The fear of the unknown and jumping into it. I just don't want to beat myself up or regret anything I do...at the same time limbo forever isn't too satisfying either. But I stay busy and do my own thing for the most part...it just gets me from time to time.
