Just want my H back

[pearlharbr]

HHH, saw this on SmileyPerson's thread and thought it might benefit you:

Ohhh and what REALLY scared him was once when I was ASKING for the D, because I was fed up waiting for him, and calmly told him, " We are friends, we have kids, I want you to be happy. I want me to be happy too, lets do it in a civilised way" -Apil 08.

He refused to proceed and told me he never wanted a divorce. He was shocked that day. He knew I meant it and that I would be fine without him. It took him another 6 months before he told me he wanted to "try" and after I had just come back from a trip to NY.

ADVICE: never underestimate your gut feeling.
K

Something I've also mentioned on these forums a few times,
spouse wants a divorce, agree with them, in fact take the lead in getting there.

Alot of WAS's are cake eaters (the cake is good n'est pas?),
they like to have their cake & eat it too (on a side note, has anyone ever wondered about this expression? of course you want to eat your cake, someone gives you a piece of cake, you have your cake, you obviously have cake to eat it, it's a food, what's up with that?! LOL!)

So they will enjoy living in limbo, testing the waters, having a good life, new found freedom on the planet fruitopia where the skies are always blue & sunny and the weather is balmy: tshirts, shorts & flip flops!

Instead of living in limbo, you decide your life is not meant to be wasted waiting for your spouse to snap out of their funk or FOG as it's so commonly called.

Tell them you want the divorce,
hasten the process,
start dividing assets,
determine costs,
set a date,
get some legal consultations,
really start to move on,
pack personal items, preparing for moving to a new home/apartment.

It then becomes real.

It's one thing to say it, but its another thing to pursue it.

In fantasyland, they can take their time and enjoy the fresh air while you live in reality where the smog can be a little hard on the sinus's.

Speed it up, make it real and all of a sudden they're sucked into reality and the work involved in a divorce.

FWIW, I would not think about things until the new year. Enjoy your holiday plans!