It just seems rude to me and I have a tough time doing that to someone. Thats why I just say ok, or change the topic or say I gotta go.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Setting boundaries (actually honoring boundaries you didn't even set) isn't being rude nor do you have to act rude to set or honor them.
Tell your W enough times when she says ANYTHING that is not child related that you wont have that conversation and eventually she might start to ASK if you if you are willing to talk about other things. She only talks to you about non child related things when she needs or wants something and you allow it.
There really is nothing more to say about the matter. You either do it or don't. If you want something different to possibly happen then do it. If you like how things are then don't.
Kevin, these situations are when you need to be like Tony Romo and call an audible. They happen quick, but you need to adjust quickly to them.
I do agree that it is ironic and hypercritical that your W told you and asked you to pray. You should just find humor in that though. Dont try to figure her out.
As far as last night went, it was fine to talk to me about the appointment as I asked and it was obviously kid related.
But I am afraid I am going to have to ask you to refrain from speaking on any other matters such as BFF and H or anything else that is going on in your personal life.
Granted, I asked about them today out of concern for them which I really should not have since it was not kid related either.
But you set this rule that there could be no talking unless it is about the kids or financial and have shut me down in the past. But yet you keep talking to me about stuff that is not related to the kids or financial. You keep venting to me about things that are unrelated such as arguements with your mother and how you feel about your family.
I am just trying to honor the boundaries that you set."
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Wait for it to happen again (in person, on phone, via text or IM) and make it short and sweet, be kind and firm: W: this is not kid or money talk and I don't care to have this conversation or any other one that is not related to the kids/money.
If she asks why - say you are honoring a boundary SHE set as that is the healthy and productive way to improve communication then let it go.
Each time she tries to sneak in another topic say the same thing. Eventually she will get it or ASK you if you if she can change the boundary.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Would Tony Romo send an email to the opposing defense after they sacked or intercepted on him?
Umm... No.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Speaking of the NFL and throwing salt into an open wound...
Brady Quinn, the QB for the hopeless Browns, was just fined $10K for a chop-block in Mondays game. And the Browns coach just said he has an orange helmet waiting for LeBron James if he wants to play. That there is desperation. The Browns need to get and read a copy of "Divorce Busting - the NFL edition".
