I have a deadline to meet but will come back later and read your whole thread. My advice (thanks for the compliment) is really just a replay of my experience with my WAS and what I have learned over the past 21 months. It doesn't apply to everybody and how I chose to handle things might not work for anybody else but I always figure I will throw it out there even on the off chance it sparks an idea for somebody.
My H and I have been legally separated now for a full 48 hours and he texted me last night (I did not respond) and e-mailed me first thing when he got to work. I mentioned I was low on time as I had to make a car repair and he said "I want to help you but I know you will never let me help you or be there for you". I told him no thanks, I learned to it myself. I told him I had some paperwork to mail him and he wanted to come over to get it. I said "we'll see" as I am very busy this week and next. Then he wanted to know when I would let him know if he should come over. I could spend more than 5 seconds wondering why NOW he is sad I don't want/need his help and why he wants to make a trip ALL the way downtown to get papers that can easily be put in the mail but what is the point? He wanted out - he is out but SO AM I! Let him help his GF, I have better things to do then let him feel like the hero NOW. Have mercy.
I wasn't in limbo really - I just decided I wasn't going to do H's dirty work so I went about my business.
