Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Changes: on Saturday, Nov 7, he saw our baby 7-12:30, part of that time with OW. He usually sees him 8-4 at our house.

I made plans to take our baby to visit grandma so he had to leave early. I will be doing something similar this Saturday (making plans to take baby to a friend's)

I rearranged plans this week already ona day that would suit me (so I can take a dance class)

He hasn't brought up divorce or parenting plan since Nov 1.

Oh and from Nov 5- present, when he is here, I have been quiet or busy a lot of the time. I am nice, happy and do make new dinners. When he brought up the D talk in October, he commented on how he will miss the fun we have had cooking together and he appreciates how nice I am to him.
I have not been crying, not freaking out, not issuing ultimatum talk or the other stuff I pulled in the past.


My hope is that by letting him take our baby for a month of Saturdays to OW, he will experience a taste of what a divorced dad's life would be like combined with missing his baby because he is seeing him 4 hours less, combined with feeling "not the same" when he is trying to share the experience of our baby with OW and she is most likely not marvelling in how amazing he is. Combined with the OW pressuring him to divorce me. (just a guess)

Oh and he will miss Thanksgiving with us, and Christmas (if he keeps seeing OW) and he has NOT mentioned a word about Christmas plans at all! I am a little surprised by this but I haven't brought it up either.

He also indicated back when talking about parenting plan that "others are not pleased" with how much he sees our baby but that he is doing what he wants because he loves him so much. (only his family and the OW know and his family loves me and our baby) So I suspect she wants him to spend less time over here at the sacrifice of not seeing his son. I am saying see your son as much as you want. (who is more loving???)

The only other changes I have noticed from him so far is more compliments, more joking and "nice" behavior when he is here, and when he texts every morning to check on our baby, he used to just ask "How is S doing? How did he sleep?" but in last couple of weeks he has asked "How are You guys doing? Did you do suchandsuch?"