Oh Donna, I don't really believe that being post-D "friends" is good for very many people at all. It is NORMAL. What is ABNORMAL is being "friends" with people who treated you the way XH and his GF treated you. No need to push there. Gaining some compassion and understanding WILL help YOU. But that doesn't mean either should or will lead to friendship.
I am so glad to see you say that. That is something I think about also, because I am very much like Donna. I can't be friends with my X or the new Mrs. X. There was way too much nastiness. But I occasionally worry if I am wrong in not being friends, so many people seem to think it is the norm.
I look at it this way. My friends are people who I respect and trust, and they respect and trust me. X and Mrs. X neither respect or trust me, and have done nothing that I would consider an act of friendship. And their actions have proven that I cannot trust them and I certainly don't respect them....so by definition they can't be my friends. I do best if interactions are primarily through e-mail...no emotions involved.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
