WAW and 4 kids

[tryingtilDorR]

W is really getting to me today. It is just the utter lack of respect and common decency, in front of my kids, that gets me angry. Maybe I brought some of this on by trying to talk to her, but I am just fuming.

Exchange yesterday morning:

TDR: "I just looked at the paper and saw that the local H.S. won their game friday against XXX team, their arch rival"
W: "Yes I heard it was an exciting game"
TDR: "Who did you talk to that went to the game?" <we know several people that were probably there>
W (in front of S11 and S12): "Does it MATTER who told me ?" <she said it in an irritating and condescending tone of voice>

I was mad and offended by her reaction, but let it go and didn't say anything.

Today we had this exchange:

She gets up about an hour earlier than normal and gets dressed to go work out - lately she had been working out at home for the past few months every morning.

TDR: "Are you going to XXXX this moring to work out?" <XXX the place she used to go when she was getting up at this time before>
W: "No I am going to YYYY"

2 hours later she gets home, and I ask:

TDR: "What kind of stuff did you do at YYY" meaning, what kind of workout? Weights? Cardio? etc?
W: "It is none of your business what I do at my workout" <history here is that her R with OM started out centered around discussing workouts, at which time she declared she would never talk to me about that stuff due to some past arguments, etc.>

After this a mini-argument commences as I tell her her attitude stinks and that she should be able to hold a normal, polite conversation in our house in front of our kids. I let the thing the day before just go, but I couldn't just swallow this now 2 days in a row.

This just really frys me. I step back and think about how people should treat each other and I am floored at how she acts.

Given that she has been making moves to move out I think OM is a heavy influence these days although I have stopped trying to verify this after she cut me off from the phone records. It is kind of a cheeseless tunnel.

I am considering contacting the OM's GF, whom he lives with and has a child with, to tell her what has been going on over the past year. I have refrained from this since I was worried about what W would do and how she would react, and because W claims that they aren't really 'together, but now I don't care because I really have nothing to lose and I feel like his GF should know what is going on. After all, he lives under her roof (doesn't work) and they have a child together (5 year old I think). My only 'proof' is that there was a strong EA, but the phone records, recordings, etc are pretty shocking and undeniable. I think she would want to know given that she probably is supporting this freeloader.

She has a right to know, and this POS predator is going to do it to someone else eventually.

Maybe I am just P.O'd and need to calm down, but my IC told me that if I am doing it (contacting GF) to feel better and not looking for a specific outcome it is probably the right thing to do.