OK, I'm sorry, but I'm going to be blunt here. What exactly did you do to your wife that was so bad that she was "sore for days"? Look- I've been there, and while it's uncomfortable and not fun, I've never been "sore for days". The only reason I can see her sticking around if she was so offended by what you did is if you were heaping emotional abuse on top of that, and that can lead to some powerful brainwashing. In my case, I was already conditioned to keep my mouth shut and just take it. (That is, unless he wanted it opened. Whole lot of other stuff going on too in our M) I am just now getting ready to leave my H and, believe me, sexual issues are a large part of my reasons for leaving. I put up with it for several years because it took me that long to figure out that what he was doing to me was crap. You need to forgive yourself and move on- You're getting yourself together which is a lot more than I can say for my H. You know, I owe you some thanks, because after reading your posts, I am finally starting to feel a little angry at H- I've been having a hard time finding it.
