RobX - I appreciate your honesty. The bottom line is that I really don't know what all the sexual stuff means to her - if she's not being honest, I can't force her too. If she's simply using that as her justification to finally leave a marriage she is unhappy in, then she is. I can't beat the truth out of her!
There were several times in our relationship where I treated her like meat - and way beyond just groping. Her sexual abuse as a child made all this worse. She asked several times for me not to do it again, and I did repeatedly. I still don't want to be graphic, but during the final violation it lasted a long time and was brutal. It was legally and morally rape. Trust me. She was sore for days after.
My gut still tells me there is no OM. I almost hope there is. There is little snooping I can do now. She has her own cell and laptop paid for by her company. Both have been been locked for years- thanks to my previous snooping.
Really, at this point, until there is proof or she decides to come clean, I have lots of other things to focus on and can't waste time or energy on the unknown.
