Not sure what to do

[TrentC]

I finally got my copy of DR today. Man, it really hits home. So many things in the book describe exactly what I am going through. I have already read the first 75 pages. It has given me hope, but the only thing i'm not sure about is does it still apply to WAS when they have already asked for a divorce, and are not willing to even try.

It can apply even then. There is a section on "last resort techniques".

This fight isn't over until the divorce decree is final. And maybe not even then -- it's not that unusual for a divorced couple to remarry.

As I was reading, I thought I would love for her to read it.

Only if you want to completely blow any usefulness the book will have. If she reads it, then she will "know" that everything you try to do is part of a "plan" to get her back.

Especially the parts about how people thing divorce is an easy way out and don't really consider the consequences of it.

There's no point in bringing that up; walkaway spouses are already convincing themselves that it will be OK in the long run.

I have a friend whose divorce decree was finalized yesterday. She said that she felt empty and worn-out -- and she was the one who filed.

That is one of the reasons you do not fight them when they say they want to D, but you don't make it easier on them either. You don't agree to "keep lawyers out of it"; you don't help them fill out the paperwork. They get to experience the full effect of the process.

I know I can't give it to her, but I felt like calling her and saying "read this". Has any-one else experienced that ?

There are other books you can get for that. I have copies of The Five Love Languages and His Needs Her Needs sitting around, if my wife is interested. She doesn't get to see DB or DR, though...