I agree too. She is reacting to my increased boundaries with avoidance.
Quote:
You really don't know "what she is waiting for"?
She's having a field day at the bakery, that's what. She's not waiting for anything.
I know I must be detached quite a bit, because that actually made me laugh.
My problem is I hate talking about this stuff over the phone or e-mail. I want a face to face talk, and she's avoiding me. The only time I see her is during child transitions, which is no time to discuss such things. I'm considering writing an e-mail. Here's what I have so far:
W-
No need to get together to talk. Your silence speaks lound enough. Your behavior over the past year has been unbelievably disrespectful to me, our marriage, and our kids, and now you making me wait while you "decide" what to do is the final straw. What is a few days possibly going to change? I made myself clear. I will not live in an open marriage, so if you choose to continue your behavior our marriage is over.
I'll make it easy on you. You don't need to decide. I've decided I'm done and I'm moving on. I want to finalize our legal separation as soon as possible. I'll scrape up the money to pay for my half. If you claim you can't afford your half of the cost, I'll cover yours too, and reduce your monthly support by $100 until it's paid off. Although I haven't made any definite plan, I may file for divorce in order to get this done as soon as possible. I want to be totally free to pursue a new life, and being married to you for another year is a sacrifice I'm not sure I want to make. When someone asks what my situation is, I want to be able to honestly say "I'm divorced". My experience so far has been that people are respectful of the fact that my marriage not yet over, especially given my three young kids, and they don't want to intrude on that, nor risk their own feelings until the situation is resolved. Obviously there are some people in the world who have no problem getting involved with a married person still living with their spouse and three little kids, but I wouldn't be interested in anyone like that.
Our relationship from this point forward will consist of a civil business arrangement to manage the raising of the kids. This is not what I ever wanted, and my heart is very heavy thinking about what their life will be from now on, but I won't tolerate your disrespect any longer. At least during the time the kids are with me, I'll be able to honestly demonstrate what is and isn't acceptable behavior from someone in their life.
