Separated

[Super Girl]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, hbdad.

[hbdad]

Thanks for caring Sad Girl. Mine are crossed as well.

[brownidmom]

Keep doing what is working. Sounds like you are back to being happy- CHECK; WAW is coming around to a bit- just an added bonus!!!

Remember, this is for you! The M is second to you!!!

Good job, keep it up.

bim

[hbdad]

BIM,

Thanks, you are right. I was awfully anxious yesterday wondering if my WAW was having second thoughts. But I talked with her on the phone last night and she seemed really upbeat. She was also watching the Fireproof movie. We have another counseling session tomorrow on my birthday. It's really hard not be excited, not to pursue right now. She did not like my GALing at all. Someone told her I was chasing other women which is not true, but she did not like it. WAW told me she thought she would be happy pursuing OM and as soon as our separation started on 11-9 she decided she was not happy like she thought she would be. The way I look at it right now is if she is in counseling with me she is not with OM. Praying and keeping my fingers crossed. The DBing really helps to get your life back. Thanks for the post.

[hbdad]

Update 11/24/09

Whew! What a weekend. On Friday (my birthday) my wife and I attended marriage counseling together for the second time. I am just trying to rush things to quickly. WAW is mad that I had the kids stay at friends house so we could have some alone time. She wanted to see the kids. I planned on making a candlelight dinner for after the counseling and talk just to see how it would turn out. The counseling went OK. WAW said she finally had come to the conclusion she should stop talking to the OM in the EA. This was progress to me and the counselor. Of course I wanted it all back! My patience is the hardest thing to deal with right now.

After counseling we do have a candlelight dinner and I am pursuing like a jackass! We flirt a little have some fun, cry, talk. We end up sleeping in the same bed, no sex. Felt great as I held onto her all night. Then in the morning she actually put her head on my shoulder for a little bit. She was also feeling nervous. This nervousness is something I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND. It's like she wants to love me but won't allow herself to do so.

Saturday I stay at my other house and she is in the family home. I stayed home because every time I go out, some chick I know wants to console me if you know what I mean. I have posted in my journal that I am more afraid of finding someone else right now because I am so lonely.


Sunday - STUPIDITY

I decide to go and have a couple of beers and watch the Lions game. I notice on my son's Facebook page that they are putting up Christmas decorations. I was more than a little upset. I drove back to the family home and said "Why are you doing this without me?" I always hang the outdoor decorations. WAW says she is just putting up a couple. I help put up the rest and take off as she is feeling nervous with anxiety again.

Here's where I make a huge mistake. I decide I've had enough of living in a room while I am not at the family home. I decide in my mind that she is cake eating. She wants the D, She is having the EA. So I grab my stuff and head home. I walk in and say I am staying here tonight. Which is contempt of court! I hop in the shower, take my sleeping meds and go to bed. WAW flips out and calls the police on me, creates a huge scene in front of the kids. I am to blame and I accept that. But did she really have to fan the flames and call the police?

BOTTOM LINE- We had progressed last week but I feel we took a huge backslide because of that incident.

We have been talking all week where as before I wasn't talking and was out GALing.

Should I go back to GALing?
Should I stop talking?
???????????????????

Totally confused.

[TrentC]

Sunday - STUPIDITY

Here's where I make a huge mistake. I decide I've had enough of living in a room while I am not at the family home. I decide in my mind that she is cake eating. She wants the D, She is having the EA. So I grab my stuff and head home. I walk in and say I am staying here tonight. Which is contempt of court!

What, what??? I missed something. How is that possible? Did you violate a restraining order or court order or some kind?

Where did you sleep together Friday night if not at the house? Did she come to your place?

I hop in the shower, take my sleeping meds and go to bed. WAW flips out and calls the police on me, creates a huge scene in front of the kids. I am to blame and I accept that. But did she really have to fan the flames and call the police?

Um, if you violated the terms of the separation agreement, absolutely she was in the right. What in the hell were you thinking?

And make no mistake, you were the one who "created the scene" in front of your kids when you barged into the house and announced you were staying there. If she was the one telling this story, I'd absolutely tell her to call the cops.