Who knows! The more you stop trying to figure her out the better off you will be.
Many WAS's will try and pull you back to the unhealthy dynamic that was a contributing factor to the demise of your marriage. As twisted as that sounds, married couples often live in conflict or conflict avoidance for so long it is the only way they know how to relate to one another.
The only way to stop that very unhealthy dynamic is to simply cease from participating. My H and I are now legally separated and he still tries to pull me back to that unhealthy dynamic as it is what he knows. Now that I don't react to it all he really has no idea how to communicate with me and he is still doing the same things he has done for a decade plus... assuming he knows what is going on in my head, not validating, making excuses and justifications and basically showing me he hasn't changed a bit. Well, maybe he has changed but he simply cannot apply those changes to the way he communicates with me.
You can read thread after thread on this site or any other site that is about R/divorces and the same advice is doled out - you will not figure out the WAS so stop trying. It takes too much energy and it's all wasted. Instead, refocus on you.
