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acsnow Offline OP
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My stepdaughter has a basketball game this saturday. After the game I will go pack all my stuff and just show up. I am started to get little anxious about this. But I have to be strong and do this for me.


Bomb 7/15/09
M46, W41
T 15YRS
M 8YRS
D20
D18 (stepdaughter)
sep 8/16/09
papers filed 5/5/10
Divorce papers signed 8/18/10 Nov 18 officially divorced
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Posts: 65
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acsnow Offline OP
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She is the one that is not happy and wants to be alone. She is welcome to stay at house if she so chooses. If not, let her feel the pain that a felt when I had to pack all my stuff and leave.
I built that house (she contributed as well) but its all my sweat equity in that house and I just cant give that up. More important I do want us to reconcile. She is my best friend.


Bomb 7/15/09
M46, W41
T 15YRS
M 8YRS
D20
D18 (stepdaughter)
sep 8/16/09
papers filed 5/5/10
Divorce papers signed 8/18/10 Nov 18 officially divorced
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
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Originally Posted By: Steve McQueen
you will be told, 'you have now destroyed any possibility of us working things out now'



Oh, GOD yes, I should have noted that as well. This happens, I would estimate, about 95% of the time when either:

- exposing the affair

- moving back into the marital bedroom/bed

COUNT on it, and just say "I'm sorry you feel that way. I did what I felt was best for me."

Puppy

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It helps when you are getting spewed on to just remember in the back of your head.......

"they all told me this would happen, I know all your moves, I can handle it." then just smile on the inside.

On the outside you want to look concerned, so pretend you have some bad hemorhoids. eek confused shocked smirk


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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acsnow Offline OP
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Alot of my problem is that I hate conflict. I am not looking forward too see her reaction.
In my first marriage , ex wife was very controling. While my D19 was growing up, my first wife would walk all over me, and I would let her and it would frustrate my present W that I would let her. Who knows maybe my present W will see this as a positive step for me for sticking up for myself.


Bomb 7/15/09
M46, W41
T 15YRS
M 8YRS
D20
D18 (stepdaughter)
sep 8/16/09
papers filed 5/5/10
Divorce papers signed 8/18/10 Nov 18 officially divorced
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
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Posts: 5,299
Originally Posted By: acsnow
Alot of my problem is that I hate conflict. I am not looking forward too see her reaction.
In my first marriage , ex wife was very controling. While my D19 was growing up, my first wife would walk all over me, and I would let her and it would frustrate my present W that I would let her. Who knows maybe my present W will see this as a positive step for me for sticking up for myself.


Anybody else want to answer this? Anyone? Anyone?


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Joined: May 2009
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Originally Posted By: Coach
Originally Posted By: acsnow
Alot of my problem is that I hate conflict. I am not looking forward too see her reaction.
In my first marriage , ex wife was very controling. While my D19 was growing up, my first wife would walk all over me, and I would let her and it would frustrate my present W that I would let her. Who knows maybe my present W will see this as a positive step for me for sticking up for myself.


Anybody else want to answer this? Anyone? Anyone?


OK, I'll take a stab. AC, your W does not respect you. Sounds like your 1st W had the same issue.

A woman will not (cannot) love a man she does not respect.

Take the reigns here (call it a 180) and LEAD. Take control.

Overcome your fear. Have fath. And just do it.

You will be surprised at what happens (we won't).


Me 43, S11, D7
M13
Bomb 4/20/09
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Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
Originally Posted By: Coach
Originally Posted By: acsnow
Alot of my problem is that I hate conflict. I am not looking forward too see her reaction.
In my first marriage , ex wife was very controling. While my D19 was growing up, my first wife would walk all over me, and I would let her and it would frustrate my present W that I would let her. Who knows maybe my present W will see this as a positive step for me for sticking up for myself.


Anybody else want to answer this? Anyone? Anyone?


OK, I'll take a stab. AC, your W does not respect you. Sounds like your 1st W had the same issue.

A woman will not (cannot) love a man she does not respect.

Take the reigns here (call it a 180) and LEAD. Take control.

Overcome your fear. Have fath. And just do it.

You will be surprised at what happens (we won't).


I think my work with this one is done. I dub thee Sir GIMA.

Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
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Originally Posted By: acsnow
Alot of my problem is that I hate conflict. I am not looking forward too see her reaction.
In my first marriage , ex wife was very controling. While my D19 was growing up, my first wife would walk all over me, and I would let her and it would frustrate my present W that I would let her. Who knows maybe my present W will see this as a positive step for me for sticking up for myself.


Without a doubt.

Although don't plan on her showing it NOW, deep down, she WILL respect you for taking a stand. Mine did.

Puppy

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Originally Posted By: Coach
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
Originally Posted By: Coach
Originally Posted By: acsnow
Alot of my problem is that I hate conflict. I am not looking forward too see her reaction.
In my first marriage , ex wife was very controling. While my D19 was growing up, my first wife would walk all over me, and I would let her and it would frustrate my present W that I would let her. Who knows maybe my present W will see this as a positive step for me for sticking up for myself.


Anybody else want to answer this? Anyone? Anyone?


OK, I'll take a stab. AC, your W does not respect you. Sounds like your 1st W had the same issue.

A woman will not (cannot) love a man she does not respect.

Take the reigns here (call it a 180) and LEAD. Take control.

Overcome your fear. Have fath. And just do it.

You will be surprised at what happens (we won't).


I think my work with this one is done. I dub thee Sir GIMA.

Cheers


Thank you, sir. I had fantastic instruction. And, I am STILL learning.


Me 43, S11, D7
M13
Bomb 4/20/09
Current
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